Navigating Avoidance
A Case Study on Avoidance
AVOIDANCE IS A QUICK FIX TO AN UNCOMFORTABLE EMOTION. IT OFFERS EMOTIONAL RELIEF IN THE MOMENT, BUT IT IS FLEETING AND COMES AT A HEAVY COST.
Sarah, a 17 year old senior in high school, is trying to decide what college to go to and what to study. She knows she should have made the decision by this point, as it is January… months before graduating. She is still so unsure, though.
She really wants to please her parents and choose the school and path they’re encouraging her to take. However, her best friends are going to a different school, and all she keeps thinking about is wanting to please them and not wanting to lose their friendship.
What decision should she make? How is she going to please everyone? These were the questions that plagued her mind and were slowing her down, causing her to avoid making a decision at all.
Have you ever avoided making a decision out of fear or because you are feeling uncomfortable?
Unfortunately, we cannot avoid situations or decisions because of feeling uncomfortable. We must fight to get to the root cause of it and address the fear head on.
To get to the root cause, ask yourself questions, such as:
Why do I want this person’s approval?
Why do I think I need this person’s approval?
How does avoiding this decision/problem affect me or help this situation?
Does the fear actually go away by continuing to put it off?
What concerns do I have about God’s plan or His desire for my life in regard to this decision or problem?
Oftentimes, we get overly concerned with making the “right” decision or making sure that we “feel peace.” But the reality is, by delaying the decision or avoiding the situation, we are keeping ourselves in the same fear cycle; we will rarely actually “feel peace” when we are allowing fear to drive us. In these moments, we can easily fall into the temptation of fearing man rather than fearing the Lord. More simply put, we concern ourselves with man’s approval rather than seeking to honor and please the Father in our decision or situation.
So, what decision or situation are you avoiding out of fear?
Avoidance is not a healthy response/pattern and is not how God intended for us to live. There is no true peace or goodness in avoidance. I challenge you to: Sit with the fears. Sit with the feelings. Seek the Lord on the matter. Seek counsel. Develop a plan of action. Give yourself a deadline. Do not let fear rob anymore of your time, energy, or feelings. Pray about it rather than avoiding it or worrying about it.
Wherever you find yourself today in regard to this temptation, we are here for you. We want to come alongside you and help you grow in not letting avoidance overpower you. Connect with us today and let us join you on the journey!
“The fear of man lays a snare,
but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.”
